Live from Panama Florida.

stats counter
In these rose colored glasses I am the waves turning over.  Through this river tolls an algae blue green against the white eastern sand.   Panama, Florida.  June 19-present... This life I sit on is sand soft as skin are smaller specimens than those that exist on the coast of Southern Louisiana- shells, snails and divine proportions.

     It moved, it lived, uncomfortable and distressed- it puts us to the test.  It is coming.   The small children play with shovels in the water and were excited when i showed them the "Specimen Jars".  They wonder what is this treasure that awaits us.   It is not a shell, a clam or any thing beautiflul to the eye; insect carcass', krill, jellyfish and OIL.
    Just then a man walking stopped directly in front of us, moved the sand with his toe.  Naturally I thought he kicked over a tiny shell. No.  They kept walking, searching the coast.


     Fathers Day.  Even my father mentinoned how the substance is not near Southern Louisiana. For years, he said- the current has taken everything that way but not today. With these thoughts, I hold a specimen in my hand with a heavy uncertain heart.

This time it will not be seashells.  That serenity it was where the white met the blue, the horizon met the air, and now we are ALL caught somewhere in the middle... We stand only from where we come from, where we are and unknowing as to what will come.  So much to write.


Collecting samples in these tiny beautiful vials the universe dropped in my lap via angel who watches my home.  The small children are now waist deep. I blinked and suddenly what I call the "big ones" started coming right before my eyes.  I look closer. Not only do i notice a coast lined with a graveyard of insects and flip flopping tiny krill,  and baby jellyfish taking one last breath.   As far as my eyes can focus atop of the water floats tiny medium and half dollar size pancakes of an orangish-red ochre color.  Almost like red iron oxide but diluted.   I stand now and immediately I can witness my heart pumping harder.  The blood in my veins rushing, gushing- this substance that awaits us.
     There are several occurances each minute that I do not understand.  A man said "it" arrived yesterday.

Looking toward the sun, I see what looks like crystals glistening  toward the rays.  Some are obviously tiny jellyfish, most are tiny crystal looking globs. Maybe eggs, nematodes?  Living or unliving?  I do not know nor can i locate any skimmers.  Life goes on here with the oil, for right now anyways.


I spoke to my father today on his day- "Believe only half of what you hear, believe everything you see." One would only think, naturally, that the invetments in these huge beach front backyards would be hold skimming nets and concerned citizens.  An army plane chops the air above me.  There are miles of this coast and not one more that exists beyond that.   I am deeply grateful and taken away with a sadness I must leave here.  I hope these words are spoken and heard among several listening ears and heard.


The waves rolled in faster, a foot or so larger.  The moon rests due Southwest  facing my pen.  Media blackout in my mind.  A plane without banners travels between the moon and myself. Private.


I knew I was headed directly where those red X's were on the map.  I believe there to be more than 3 x's, rather ONE.  I look toward the sun and notice only water.
Vacation.  I sit, I stand.  My feet rest in the water. I collect.  These jars seem less compared to the work I have to do. I want answers. If these jellyfish and krill are dying, what about the phyto plankton and the following food chain.   What lies deep in the ocean are lies.   Living creatures we know not about because of their complexity and depth and how they feed.   Whole Foods has pulled krill oil supplements from its shelves with out any prior notice 270 North American and UK stores.  http://www.worldfishingtoday.com/news/default.asp?nyId=5500


Where are the comfortable homeowners with their 8 toilets flushing and gushing this coast. The next handful of days will be rather interesting.  This coast will change by the minute, so will the tides.  Astronaut diapers with the help of the moon.


Night.  The thunder rolls among the tides 150 feet from me.  I just noticed that the writing and these words are all starting to blend into one another.  The debris in your mouth is the details on the coasts.  Listening and where does the rain put the gasses in the air?  The moment is creeping up when the ocean calls me. Laces and long pants- a work to do.  Today was a real experience of many emotions. I look forward to researching jellyfish and phyto plankton.  I am dying to know more.  There are not enough live reporters who share the truth.  Complication communication far away.  transformation takes my place. The new- something easy to find.  The truth- something you find in yourself.  Some tell me to "relax". I do. I am. I am a vessell, what which is a channell.


At the entrancw of these waters, I have noticed less spam in my inbox.  The storm rolls on and grasshoppers and crickets are among me.  I am curious with so many questions. Head lamp, trot.  To do something, anything-whatever-to acutally DO the action of moving energy-takes much organized efforts.  I know these thoughts random. Beef burger tonight.  I must absorb nature around me, embracing every moment, knowing that it will all take full care of itself, replenish, die, cycle, deep and spiralling.


Rereading. Chills.  I will remember remembering these exact moments when I grinned a smile, gave my bones a chill, know these words I speak, unbiast of the one who recorded them.  Tomorrow is yet another day of witnessing everything changing and nothing at all.  The vessels I fill need to be capped. Shut off.  Preserved, studied, recorded and rewritten.


I find it amazing those manifestations of a heart, and witness them happening because of the very words I speak- that which moves through my hands.  This is an unedited raw story. I do not care that I care so much. I have surrendered for quite some time now.  A child again.  They know why they had to leave to go get in the cleaner pool.


I am curious to talk about the individuals who call themselves community in this moment of crisis-sooner-to-be-than-later. Absent.  The very ones who founded a place on false ideas and greed based on traditional bullshit we think is correct- Gone.  Owners but sellouts. I want to blame everyone but no one can take it personal ok.  I want to hear more about how the big boys do something what we ALL morally agree with.


Garlic cannot fix this one.  No garden potions either.  Nearly 2 months ago today. I find usual, not microscopic evidence of what is a chain of events happening.  for a minute there, I had second thoughts about being a newly first time homeowner.  An hour of conversation passes between these words with an elder.  He leaves the balcony on the German Luger USPS delivery.   I notice a house sitting along the coast. Dark. The elder asks me if it looks out of the ordinary, or do I also notice that the place has no evidence of electricity.  Beyond this structure the beach activity is overall quiet. Still actually. Absent.

Day 2.  11:30 Am.   The smell in the air is familiar to what is captured in the vile jars.  Where my teeth meet my gums aches.  So I heard there was a clean up crew this morning. Good.  Seaweed and random but not many tar pancakes I see.  The tide has pulled them back out, therefore the water is clean today.  ?  The beach to my left and to my right has a  few hundred or so in both directions. There are birds diving beak first  into the water and above me the air traffic seems very busy.  1 army plane. 2 helicopters, and that same private plane from yesterday.   I am sure they patrol the slick.


Day 3.  From what I can remember- these beaches had clear water. What I am seeing now is a greenish algae phytoplankton color along the entire coast.   I am not sure this is normal even though I heard it was.    I notice the seagulls eat the bug carcass along the coast, which explains why I am not seeing many today, along with the tide pulling things out again.  Seagulls scavenge, but what is the cause of the bugs?  The complexity of the ocean food web is amazing.  There are many variables involved therefore it is impossible to assess the impact of the Deepwater Horizon Oil spill.   We have obviously seen the efforts to remediate the effects of the spill by focusing on the larger animal species.  The long term survival of these and other species will depend on the water quality and sunlight and nutrients for the phytoplankton.  I sit here with sunburned feet because my umbrella exposes them to the sun. No tar pancakes are visible today.  Besides the very tiny 5 or so in a 10x 10 ft area... I guess since its out of sight and out of mind, it does not exist at all. The Air Force and a huge red Coast Gurad plane chopping above me.  My blood is a river.     Deep breath.  One salty tide dies.